How Curious You Are
by pinkfyre
Summary: "What is there to being a cat if you are not sly?" I asked, fully aware of how close together we were. "Well that's easy" the boy responded with a grin on his face. "I will simply be mischievous." My take on Alice in Wonderland. Please R&R! My first fanfic so go easy on me!
1. Snobby Doornobs and Mieschevious Cats

Chapter 1

Have you ever been called insane? Ever heard people say you should go see a shrink? Or maybe go to a mental hospital?

During my miserable life of sixteen years, I have been told this many times. All because when I was young I retold the story of my adventure in a foreign land.

Was it a dream? Maybe. It honestly could have been. I don't really remember it anymore. But did that really mean being sentenced to a life of solitude?

I sighed. I should really stop regretting spouting all that nonsense years ago.

My name is Alice. An English name fitting of English women. Sadly I was no English woman. My ethnic background was Chinese and Russian. To this day I still have no idea how I got the name. My mother, regardless to being Russian, was brought up in an English manor. Maybe that was how I got the name.

I shook my head. _Concentrate on the task at hand._ I looked at my garden I was about to tend to. You'd think on a Friday night a teenage girl would be with her friends. Sadly my garden was all the company I had, that and the kitchen.

I put my waist length almost black hair into a bun and secured it with a hair elastic.

_Time to get to work._

Day turned to night in what seemed like minutes. At this Time I decided to head back inside and finish my long day with a hot shower.

When I stepped out, I contemplated on what to do. My parents at the moment were in Hawaii on a vacation. I would have come were it not for final exams. My brother, elder to me by three years, was off in New Brunswick in university studying to become an accountant, leaving me in the house alone.

I looked in the fridge and decided to put on a pair of shorts and blue top and go get some grocery shopping done. Yay.

I put on a pair of running shoes and locked the door, starting to walk there since it was only a few blocks away.

As I walked I looked up to the sky and smiled. The brilliant blue of night was mixed like water paint into the orange and pink of the sunset. At times like these, I wished I had paint and a canvas.

As my last thought dissipated into the night, I seemed to feel the sensation of… falling? But I was on a sidewalk.

I looked down and found that time seemed to move in slow motion, but in a state of fast foreword.

Beneath my feat was nothing. Pure blank nothing. I wanted to scream in terror but couldn't find my voice.

I fell, seeing odd objects in which should not be found in a hole fall with me.

Upon a cabinet of sorts I found a jar with the label stating in large letters ORANGE MARMALADE. _When is a better time to feast on orange marmalade than when falling?_ I thought, having a sense of nostalgia, but alas the jar was empty leaving me in a hungry state.

_If only I had finished my grocery shopping earlier I would not have had to do it now, therefore in a alternate universe I should be at home, munching on toast and orange marmalade perhaps with a cup of earl gray. _

I then felt a shock go through my body as I hit a hard floor. Thankfully, it seemed as though I was (surprisingly) not injured in any way.

As I double-checked myself I found it quite odd that I was wearing a baby blue dress that went to above my knees covered in white lace and buttons along with a pair of white leather boots. _How curious._

I then got up and brushed myself off looking around and finding myself in a hallway covered in doors. These doors seemed to vary in shapes and size, some reaching the ceiling, others were circular or triangular, the most odd one I found was shaped as butterfly, painted so it looked realistic. So realistic in fact, I would have thought it real were it not for the door nob.

I decided to try opening all the doors but to no avail. They all seemed to be locked. How frustrating!

I was about to go and try breaking down a door but heard someone scoffing. _Well that can't be right. I'm the only one here._

I then heard a very snobby voice start to speak.

"How do you plan on getting in a door without a key?" The voice asked as though the answer were obvious.

"Were are you?" I asked in turn, a little miffed.

"Down here." The voice came again.

"Down where?" I looked around, finding no person in the area.

"Down HERE." It said, sounding as though it were becoming increasingly annoying.

I once again checked the surrounding area but this time found that it was not a human speaking, but a shiny gold doorknob, sitting upon a tiny door only a mouse could fit through.

"I didn't know that doorknobs could talk. Perhaps I am going mad." I wondered aloud, curious yet scared at what was before me.

"Were all a little mad here. See? You didn't even check that table to see if a key were on it."

"What table?" I questioned.

"That one right behind you."

Indeed there was an elegant glass table, upon it a tiny key and a bottle. Upon closer inspection, I could see the tag said 'drink me'. Warning bells went off in my head.

"The only way to get out of here" The snobby doorknob said. "Is by using that key and opening my door."

"But how would I get through?"

"The bottle. If you drink its contents you will shrink."

I did as the doorknob instructed and drank the vile smelling liquid. I was probably dreaming anyway. When the drink touched my tongue, I found it had the utmost pleasant of tastes, a cross between strawberries and a sunny spring day.

Surely enough I began to shrink. That or it was an illusion.

I proceeded to walk to the door, key in hand now fitting perfectly in my palm. I shoved the key into the doorknobs mouth, mentally cheering that I had found a way to shut him up.

I twisted the nob and gently pushed the door open. On the other side, everything was enormous. The flowers were the size of ancient oak trees, each one so detailed and perfect they seemed to have faces. I went and looked closer to find a tulip opening its eyes and a petunia stretching its leaves.

The red rose blinked and rubbed its eyes, staring at me intently.

The rose's eyes widened in horror and shock. It then screeched, "The weed is back! The weed is back! Get it out! OUT I SAY!"

All the flowers then seemed to go wild, pushing me out until I was nearing the end of the flower patch.

_How rude! I am nothing like a weed!_

But alas I decided to ignore this and keep walking. As I walked I found myself studying the surrounding foliage. How beautiful it was! The trees, the size of skyscraper, were either a lush and lively green or a mystical and unnatural blue.

Such a realistic dream this was! I reached out and touched the base of a curiously blue and red mushroom. It was as big as a house and felt slightly squishy.

Oddly enough there was a circular wooden door in the middle of the stem. To the left of it was a window and at the base of the door was a mat that read 'you are NOT welcome'. What a shame, I needed directions to get out of here.

Suddenly, the door to the mushroom hut burst open and a, very attractive, young man appeared. He had purple hair with fuchsia cat ears, one of which had a golden piercing.

He was wearing gray pants and a black and pink T-shirt. His eyes, the most starling part of his getup, were yellow with black slits like a cat's.

What an odd looking person.

"What do you want?" He seemingly growled with a scowl upon his delicate features.

I stared for a second before regarding what he had said. "Directions please."

He smirked. "Well it is a good thing you have stumbled upon my not so humble mushroom. I am the best person to ask for directions. Although you did interrupt my nap."

"I apologize."

He then began to study my attire and me like I had him. He raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Have we met?"

"I don't think so. This is a dream, right?"

He shrugged. "This place has many names, dream, nightmare, once a little girl went so far as to call it wonderland."

My eyes then expanded in complete surprise. That was what I had called my childhood dream.

The boy, not noticing my expression or simply not caring asked, "Well, what is your name?"

"Alice" I said simply. "What is yours?"

He stared at me curiously. "Alice?" He asked, ignoring my question. "The Alice?"

I gave him a look of annoyance. "I don't know, my name is just Alice and plainly Alice. Now what is your name?"

"I am Cheshire. Many call me Cheshire the cat but you can just call me Shire, or Ches. Really whichever." The way he pronounced Ches made the ch sound like sh.

"I think I'll just call you Shire." I liked the way it rolled off my tongue. I smiled, finely remembering the Cheshire cat from my dream all those years ago. "So will you point me in the right direction?"

He cocked his head from side to side as though tasting my question, only making me more frustrated.

"Maybe." He answered with a playful grin. Damn that cat, he was getting on my nerves.

"Your going to ask me a riddle aren't you?" I asked with a frustrated sigh.

Now he looked surprised. "How did you know?"

"Well perhaps I am the Alice." I said, trying to annoy him.

Sadly his grin only widened. "Well then, you know the rule. If you answer my riddle I'll lead you to say, the mad hatter, but if you get it wrong I will be getting a kiss."

"A kiss?" I asked. This was extremely out of his character. I remembered him as a riddling cat and a riddling cat only.

He smirked. "Yes. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Alright." His grin became taunting.

"I am soft, yet hard as steal,

You cannot see me, but I am real,

And I move in a way,

That passes time, night or day,

What am I?" While he was talking his playful smirk only grew.

I let out a long and angered breath. Damn that cat!


	2. Mad Tea and Unbirthdays

Chapter 2

I looked at Shire and took a second to think. And think. And think.

I finally let out a breath of annoyance and being myself, asked for a hint.

"No." He said with a smirk that was slightly sultry while lying in a tree. When did he get there? "That wouldn't be fair, now would it? Unless you gave up something in return."

"What would I have to give you?" I questioned.

He seemed to honestly think about it with a surprisingly serious face that cracked into a grin. "A question."

"Why a question?" I asked.

"Not just any question. But a question that you have to answer truthfully no matter what."

"How will you know if my answer is true?"

"I will know, you cannot speak lies to Cheshire without him knowing." He simply said, with a look that screamed 'I will discover all your secrets'.

"Alright, deal."

Shire laughed a deep chuckle that almost seemed like a purr. He was a cat I suppose, and I having a certain love for cats wanted to pet him. _How odd you are Alice, how odd you are_.

"So, what's the question?" I asked.

"Well I'm not going to ask you a question at this very moment. I'm simply going to save it for a time in which I want to ask what your deepest and darkest secret is."

"How dramatic you are."

"I take my pride in it."

"So the hint?" If he was getting a question I wanted that hint.

"You listen to it all the time,

You'll find it made in rhymes,

It can make you weep or cry,

Or have a jolly good time." He finished, still perched on that branch of his.

"That's not fair! You're giving me a hint in another riddle!" I mildly shouted, getting to the point of wanting to slap that pretty little face of his.

His infuriating grin still in place, he jumped down from the branch and sauntered over to me.

"If you are sane you can answer it, if you are mad you will get it." He said in a teasing tone, walking around me, his purple tail wrapping around my waist. Wait a second…

"You have a tail!"

He blinked in a shocked expression at of the randomness of it. "I'm a cat of course I do."

"Well I saw the ears, their pretty obvious but I didn't know you had a tail!"

"Anyway" He said with an amused expression, "do you have an answer for my riddle?"

My face turned into a sad expression. Why couldn't he just point me in the right direction? It wasn't that much to ask for!

"From your expression I'm guessing you haven't a clue?"

I smirked now. "No, I'm just sad at the fact that you wouldn't just point me in the right direction. Anyway the answer is music."

Cheshire seemed to falter at that, if only for a second. "Well" He said, "I guess you are mad, or as you would say it correct."

I smirked in triumph. "Now lead the way cat!"

"I have a name!"

He led me into the forest of giant plants. Or I guess it was just me who was small.

"Shire?"

"Hmm?"

"How to I get back to my normal size?" I asked.

He gave me a confused look. "You are at normal size."

"No I'm not. I used to be much taller than this."

"It is the normal size here."

"Well I guess that's to be expected." I responded, viewing the surrounding scenery.

I went up to tough a soft looking fern, marveling in its highness.

My thoughts wandered thinking of my first time coming here. The sly Cheshire, the Mad Hatter, the duchess, the Mock Turtle…

"Shire?" I questioned.

"Yes?" He answered.

"Why are you no longer sly?"

"Who ever said I was sly in the first place?" His voice floated from above my head. I looked up to find him lounging on the fern leaf.

"Well, what is there to being a cat if you are not sly?" I asked as he descended from the leaf. He walked up to me, seemingly unaware of how close together we were.

"Well that's easy" The boy responded with a grin on his face. "I will simply be mischievous." He seemed to be leaning closer to me, putting his arms around my waist. My face reddened drastically. I then pushed away from him.

"Ah, ah, ah" I sang. "I solved the riddle. So no kisses."

He pouted but walked an proper distance away. "Alright" he said, "C'mon, we're going to the Mad Hatters."

I frowned, recalling the rude man. "Do we have to?"

He smirked. "Well you two are dear old friends. I'm sure he'd like to see you."

We walked on further when we started seeing a few houses here and there. One I recognized as the house I had nearly broken when I ate that enlarging cake. Poor Bill the lizard, I hadn't meant to kick him up the chimney.

We then pranced down a path until there was a fork in the road. One sign had upon it 'The Mad Hatter' while the other said 'The March Hare'.

"Which way shall we be going Shire?" I ask the strange cat.

All I hear is silence. He had left me hadn't he? I turned around. Nothing. The next time I saw him I was going to kill that feline.

I contemplated which way to go, left right, right left. Might as well go to the March Hare, I hope he's less mad than the Hatter was.

I walk down the right path. After a few minutes I come to see the March Hare's house. It was quite odd with chimneys shaped like ears and the roof thatched with fur, outside there was a long table set out under a tree were a Hare and a Hatter were having tea. As I came closer to the white gate that enclosed it, I saw that a Dormouse was resting on the arm of a comfy looking chair.

The three, Hare Hatter and Dormouse, seemed to all be sitting in one corner of the table, the rest was not occupied.

"Excuse me!" I say, "Could you please tell me the way out of wonderland?"

The ginger haired Hatter tilts his head upwards. "It's time for tea, why not join us?"

I think about it. I guess a mad tea party wouldn't hurt.

I unlock the gate and sit down at on an armchair situated at the head of the table.

"Have some wine." The March Hare said in a happy tone.

I looked around the table but could not spot the red liquid. "I don't see any wine."

"There isn't any." Said the March Hare.

"Then it was uncivil of you to offer it." I said angrily.

"It wasn't very civil of you to walk off while we were putting the Dormouse in the teapot but you did it anyway." He responded.

I do recall doing just that. "I suppose I did, my deepest apologies."

"Your hair wants cutting." The Mad Hatter randomly interjected.

"Well I do not want to cut my hair." I said indignantly.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" The Mad Hatter asked.

"Perhaps because they both have legs." I quickly responded to his tricky riddle.

He seemed to ponder the thought as though it had never occurred to him that there could be an answer.

"I suppose that's correct." He mutters with a confused expression.

I grin triumphantly as I pour a blackberry tisane into my teacup.

The Hatter then stood and took a fork to his cup as though he wanted to make a toast. "Everyone gather around, we must celebrate Alice's birthday."

"Tis not my birthday today." I respond to his insanity.

"Well then we must celebrate your unbirthday."

The March Hare nodded in agreement. "Yes, yes, a very special occasion it is, only happens three-hundred and sixty-four days a year, don't waste them."

All of the many tea kettles on the table began to magically whistle a tune, then two then began sing.

The March Hare started it with his squeaky voice. "A very merry unbirthday to me!"

The Mad hatter then joined in. "To who?"

"To me."

"Oh you!"

"A very merry unbirthday to you!" The March Hare sang.

"Who me?" The Mad Hatter faked surprise. At least I hope he faked it.

"Yes you!" The Hare continued.

"Oh, me!"

"Let's all congratulate us with another cup of tea! A very merry unbirthday to you!"

"Now, statistics prove, prove that you've one birthday." Said the madman.

The Hare then joined in, "Imagine, just one birthday every year."

"Ah, but there are three-hundred and sixty-four unbirthdays!"

"Precisely why we're gathered here to cheer."

They then both started singing. "A very merry unbirthday to you, to you."

I vaguely remembered their little word games and decided to go along with it, all the while trying not to giggle in amusement. "To me?"

"For you!" The Hatter then responded.

They both started singing. "A very merry unbirthday!"

"For me?" I said.

"For you!" said the Hare.

They placed an unusually large cake with a single candle lit in front of me when the Mad Hatter then started up again. "Now blow out the candle my dear, and make your wish come true."

"A merry merry unbirthday to you!" They both finished.

I then blew out the candle, wishing to find that cocky cat so I could slap him.

After I blew out the candle, we cut the cake into five even pieces.

"What's the fifth piece for?" I asked seeing no else then us four.

"Why, it would be rude for us not to give a piece to our new arrival.

"New arrival?"

"The one behind you."

I turned around and found a pink and purple figure in a tree with cat ears.

"You called? He said.


End file.
